My son G has removed himself to the Lake District to his friend`s boat. There are no unpleasantries,calm and order reign in the house. No Stargate on T.V. ( I don`t know if that is a good thing...my husband is watching Sinbad the Sailor) He needs something to cheer him up, poor soul, my brother has just purchased a new Mini Cooper S and he has offered to take D on a trip down to the tip.
Brother DL and sister in law A have been doing home improvements. They have had new carpets fitted throughout, all the same colour, fabulous. Their old carpet is in very good condition, so we take it home with us. D threatens to fit the carpet himself, i know from his past attempts at "patchwork quilt style fitting" so i warn him not to go there. He takes not a blind bit of notice and I catch him on the stairs pressing it into place. When i tackle him on this he replies "Just to see what it looks like." I warn him that I will never speak to him again if he spoils it, he tells me to "Shut up." We have a full scale arguement, the neighbours will love this, as their sitting room is directly against this wall. I tell him to go ahead, but I will hold him responsible if he makes an arse of it, and that my eye will be drawn to the patches every time i walk over them. Huffily, he pulls his handiwork up and rumples the carpet under his arm. he stuffs it in the corner of the hallway, and proceeds to stomp away "Put it back where you got it from!!!" I bellow, and am gobsmacked that he picks it up and puts it back in the garage. I ring the carpet fitter and he arranges to arrive at 11.00 on Wednesday (wait till he gets a load of our patchy underlay covered in paint splodges)
We call around to my brother`s house, everything is newly painted, smelling fresh and clean, the new carpet and furnishings are fabulous. My brother is working on his laptop, there`s a square net looking thing on there. I ask if it`s going to be a room, he answers "No, it`s a generic plain for my basic android pieces, I`m having them walking down a corridor." (What?") He makes it simple for me by showing me an animated man who is trying to reach for a handle of a door. He explains that he hasn`t got the hand synced up to grasp the handle yet.
We go to Blyth Market to buy a new dog bed and wild bird seeds. D talks all the way there about DL`s new car, wonders where he is with it now, that he`s having leather seats fitted, that it has a sports button which "transforms the car`s performance", that it has Rostyle wheels and new mats on the floor. I am beginning to wish that our car has an ejector seat. At the Market, D buys himself a set of combination spanners and a packet of Brazil nuts to console himself. I buy some yoghurt coated raisins, I suspect that they are loaded with calories, but hey, what the hell, I missed the deadline of Monday for my diet, there`s always next week.
My youngest son P and his wife B are home again this weekend for D`s birthday, they have an apple mac i-pod shuffle for him which is about the size of a stamp. But B has downloaded a page from National Geographic and has customised it to say "A year`s membership of magazines for D`s birthday" can`t wait to see his face when he opens it. That`ll teach him for trying to fit the carpet.
Come back G, all is forgiven!!