Saturday 6 April 2013

Fat, Hiking Hillbilly

After watching a programme on the 10 creatures David Attenborough would save from extinction I was taken by a little fella, a Solenodon. I keyed in the name, hoping to see some photographs, spelled the way I half heard it - Selenodon - and pages of Celine Dion stuff came up. This has been happening on my mobile, due to too fast typing and it`s amusing to see what the spell check intercepts. Keyed in fast wrongly - fatty. Hiking - hillbilly. I want to shout at it "I didn`t mean that!" Must switch off predictive text. I digress, the Solenodon - a rat like ant eater looking creature with cute ears. They live in caves most of the time, so have an albino appearance. Never seen one of these before. Also the Cane Toad - very impressive creature. The male does his bit for women`s lib as he gives birth to the young from his mouth. The egg is held in a chamber by the male in his mouth after the female has given him responsibility for the egg. It must be our age, but my spam e mails are full of casino adverts while my husband`s continue to be bombarded by viagra ads. Maybe they imagine that I am striking the slot machines to start a new life and he needs more life in...well. whatever. Mails which are more insidious are when I receive a message from a pal who I know for a fact doesn`t travel abroad. It informs me that she has been mugged in Sierra Leone and has no money to fly home, can I just pop some cash over there to help? Should have told them to try their luck on a slot machine. I can point them in the direction of countless gambling joints.

Cuts in Newcastle upon Tyne (March to Civic Centre)