Haute Cuisine

D gets out of bed and looks out of the window, singing to himself "All through the winter time, he hid himself away, la la la..." He gets to the bathroom first, then goes downstairs to start the breakfast, I can hear him pulling the pan on the bottom shelf from under the smaller ones, he never takes them out one at a time and so they all fall on the floor. I get up to go to the bathroom.

As we sit down to eat,I notice that my egg yolk is broken and he has an unbroken egg ( So I deduce that I would not be given his last Rollo) D pulls each side of my face and states "I could give you a nip tuck, here and here." Well..that`s done wonders for my self esteem!! G walks in and D pipes up before sonny boy has the chance "Hey, G, when you go for a drive in your new car with the roof down you won`t have to worry about your hair."


I have just caught my husband putting hot cauliflower into polythene bags intended for the freezer. I ask him not to do this as we could all catch typhoid. He quips back "Well there`s no chance of us catching that if it`s left up to you because you never make the dinner." I had cleared everything from the work surfaces, the idea being that we would have more space to cook. Where is he peeling onions....? on a plate on the draining board, positioning himself in front of the dishwasher and halfway over the sink. He mutters that I am in the way when I try to fill the kettle.

Loving son walks through drinking from a bottle of fresh orange and sings to the tune of I`m Just a Love Machine by Girls Aloud :-

I`m just a fat machine,
Eating all that is seen,
Look at my double chin,
There`s no way I`ll be thin.

G goes out and D works in the garden, i set to with the ironing, and because i have left it for so long, the mound looks like the north face of Everest. So, I will be manacled to the ironing board for the rest of the morning. As I look out onto the garden through the patio door, the robin and blackbirds are chirruping. I witness D sit down on one of the green metal chairs from our garden set to repair the strimmer, the leg snaps and he almost hits the ground. I can sense another trip to the tip.