Thursday, 7 August 2008
It`s T- Raining Men
Read about a bloke called Sam Pyle (Ironic name) he won an award for the Hairiest Man (El Hairio)looks like a long pile carpet. Also Kevin Pietersen, the South African born cricketer has shaved off his astro turf badger style.
Got on the bus at 10.30am, a can of Carling rattling around under the seats, then at the Newcastle United football ground stop, a young lad got off snapping the ring pull on another.
Made it to Laboca Art Cafe, told B about the four hole salt sellars provided by Norwich Council to fish shops.
B " You pick on a granny with no salt on her salad and you`d get hit with her false teeth and slip on her curler!"
The conversation got around to husbands, and what we`d do if we didn`t have the ones we`ve got.
DK. "If I had another man I`d have to train him and it would take too long."
B "If you got a younger one, he could train you."
DK "He`d have to have his own teeth and hair."
B "How many men have you had with wigs?"
DK "He`d also have to be good at DIY and not fat, but really, I couldn`t be bothered with another man, even if he had gold bars hanging from his bollocks."
B "Have you seen Ann Foster`s painting of four fat blokes?"
We look at her catalogue, love the people dancing ones, full of movement and depth, but I`m not too impressed with the trees ones, a little flat and too expensive.
Y " And what about Judy Finnegan`s hairstyle, the raggy style just makes her look scraggy. He`s a bit childish, that Richard, she`s such an intelligent woman, I bet she cringes at some of the prattish comments he makes. He asked a woman guest "Really like the dress, is it Chinese silk?" answer "I don`t know."
B had been to the gym and proudly told us of his inverted nipple, he was admiring the nipple erection on the other one in the mirror.
B " If you wanted a breast implant, what style would you have."
Y "Not a Jordan, that`s for sure."
B " Nipples the size of your nostrils, high ones, low ones?"
Y "We`re happy with our fried eggs, we`ll have a top up of coffee,and try not to be slower than a laplanders travelling sledge."
It`s pissing down outside when we leave, no umbrella, and I have the cheek to comment on the raggy scraggy look.