Monday, 11 August 2008

Greedy Gets

IW "Where does D want to go tonight?"
y "IW wants to know where you want to go tonight."
D "Jarrow slacks."
Y "He said Jarrow Slacks."
IW "What!!! ask him if he wants to go to town."
Y "Do you want to go to town?"
D "Sgt Peppers?"
Y "We`ll just go local, see you at 7.30."

As we leave the house, G is cooking for girlfriend E. He is making a selection of stuffed things and a giant pizza.

Back from the pub at 11.30, D notices pizza on a tray. As there is no note saying that we can eat it, I leave well alone, D helps himself. 5 minutes later, G surfaces from his room.

G "You greedy sod, you`ve eaten all 6 pieces, right well I`m having one of your bottles of wine!!!" Then goes back to entertaining.

The next night D catches G sloping off with one of his bottles of beer.

D "Put that back."
G "You nicked my pizza, so I`m having this."
D "You`ve already taken a bottle of wine, Twat."

Kettle and pot.

The bird is still biting G, slyly and very gently holds his claw out as if he wants to sit on his hand, then holds on tightly while he bites. Chico has learned a whole new set of words. "Come on, come`ere....ow,ow....Hi NO...stop biting."

While picking up leaflets of interest, noticed a free magazine Mature Times, adverts include hearing aids, adjustable beds, you can win a one in a competition and insurance ads featuring Michael Parkinson. Bolton Council is issuing pensioners with cat bells to hang on their bags to ward off thieves. Yeah, like that`s going to work, they won`t be able to hear them for rap music on their ipods. Lots of advice on parkinson`s disease and other illnesses. But seriously, some very good advice on gardening, insurance and trips.

Was also approached with a free sample of pro age cream, while I`m anywhere for a little apple with freebies, I felt a bit afronted to be recognised as a wrinkly.

Another sign of ageing is having to get out of bed to go to the loo, at 4.00am, I return to bed after such a visit to find D is sprawled all over my side. Why didn`t you just climb onto his side? I hear you ask. Well I would, but his snoring pipe is laying a trail over there too. So I push him aside, he wakes up and says "I`m awake now, we might as well get up." There`s no way I`m joining him, so I sleep in until 9.00.

Enjoyed the book launch of The Great North Road by Annabel Dore`. An excellent talk on how she gets the inspiration to write, she imagines a door from her past, opens it and experiences the sights, sounds and smells of the past, good tip. She enquired of the audience if anyone else does this, and what things spark memories. An old lady said

"I remember that film about a stripper..she was a gypsy...but I can`t remember the name of it." Someone shouts out Gypsy Rosa Lee. There is singing and food, a really good afternoon.

Karen Joy Fowler was also at Gosforth Library promoting her new book, she is known for The Jane Austen Book Club which was recently made into a film. She informs us about a case on The Donner Party a group of people in America who were caught in a snow storm, they had passed mountains, and only had one more to go, they didn`t realise they were so close to their destination, so stayed put, but the weather got worse and they stayed the winter out, they eventually resorted to eating eachother. Her latest book The Case of the Imaginary Detective makes reference to this. Kind of gives a new meaning to Donner kebabs. I try to imagine the scenario if D and G were holed up together

"No,you lopped off a leg last time so I`m eating your arse."

Well, better go and make something to eat before the greedy gets come home.

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