Screaming Women

Husband D was watching a Bond movie today. I`ve always despised films which show the little woman screaming and the men rushing to sort the problem out while she evaporates in the corner. Until, one day D found an old lighter in the drawer, none of us smoke, but it`s one of those things that you buy from the Lookie Lookie men in Tenerife. It was a little dinosaur, when you pressed its paw, the eyes lit up, it gave a roar and the flames come out of its mouth, you know the kind of thing, total shite, but your on holiday and you need to buy gadgets. It`s the men I`m talking about here!!!! Anyway, D was forcing lighter fluid up its arse,faffing around using his sausage fingers on the canister. He pressed the paw and as he`d sprinkled some on his arm, when a huge bazooka style flame shot over the hairs on his arm like something from Terminator, yes, you guessed, I screamed... and hated my stupid self for doing so.

I also feel as if I`m quoting from an episode of Lead Balloon, but no, this conversation did take place in our house. We`re selling the boat, dinghy, trailer and 3 outboard motors, we`ve all lost interest and are doing other things, so it`s going the journey. As D was at work all day Saturday G offered to go to the lakes (Using D`s car)with the offer that we could use his little sporty job. No petrol in his, ours tank full. At first he said that he and girlfriend E would stay overnight on the boat to be there early in the morning to greet the customer.

G "Dad, you know when I said that me and E were going to stay on the boat..well, we thought it would be a good idea if we went into a hotel because the weather`s not all that good. But..we`d need you to pay for it because we are going up there to save you the job, and being as you`re at work?"

D "How much is this costing me?"
G "It`s only £65"

Took part in the first Pinklane Poetry event at the Jazz Club and it was fantastic, the atmosphere was electric, it felt like we were in a Vaudeville theatre. Margaret Frayne, a powerful jazz singer wowed everyone by belting out her songs without music or a mic. James Oates and Simma great as usual, P.A. Morbid,Martin Palmer, Dionne Broadbent, Simon Buglass, The fantastic sounds of Simon "Mucle Drummer" and the winner was Nikki Hawkins with her hilarious comedy routine. There is to be an event once a month, looking forward to it.

Also went to Star and Shadow Theatre for the first time, very sixties, sofa`s, lighting, old fashioned theatre a big rambling building. The performance was great, a film background with images across the screen while a band played and a three person play went on in the forground. Another brilliant new place to go now that we are members. Rik from Dialect was there, met Mark Read from the Tynedale Enterprise Project who has some good projects on the go.

We went into the Tanner`s Arms before the show and a little dog came booling in, a cross between a rottweiller and a staffordshire bull terrier, he was gorgeous, very smily and waggy. He got chucked out of there. He bustled his way into Stars and Shadows, got away with it for a while pouncing around while being patted. But then he was ushered out. I knew that had he been still hanging around when we left at the end of the night, that we`d probably take him home. Suckers. But alas, no little animal. Can`t say that Chico would have been happy at an interloper on his terrotory.
He`s a true Geordie parrot now, quoting Hawway thun, comeer and Ok then tarrah. I must teach him how to scream..then if I do need to utter that hated sound again..I can blame the bird.