Owld Fossils

I was looking for a wooden tea trolley, to put my sewing machine on, so that I could bool it in and out of the cupboard, sit on the chair in front of the computer and swivel between the two, brilliant. For the past couple of weeks I`ve hit the charity shops with no luck. Called in to a junk shop, he didn`t have one, but his brother, who lives and works in an old church, Whitfield Antiques, would have one. We were amazed, the building still sported the high beamed ceilings and was packed to the rafters with fabulous things. Got a lovely 60`s style solid wood trolley with ball wheels, a couple of books and a marvelous puppet from Rajasthan, it has wooden heads and hands. It switches into two characters, (can`t wait to take it to nursery.) There were oil paintings, grandfather clocks, fur coats, china, photos and strapped up by chains above the gallery, a tandem for £80. He showed us around, we were invited into his living quarters, he`s got 4 poodles and an English Bull terrier. His dining table is aloft on what must have been the pulpit area when it had been a church and his furniture is the biggest, most ornate and most fabulous. The gardens are well kept with lots of interesting corners, carved faces, mirrors etc. Then we were left to spend as much time as we liked roaming around.

Another great council idea!!!!! Let`s put pink street lighting everywhere to stop the kids hanging around in gangs, the reason being that it will show up their spots and encourage them to move on. How much did this cost please? Wouldn`t it be better to put the money towards entertaining the kids, a centre, more youth workers etc?

Things that shock this week...watched a documentary on Japan, a couple who had lost their jobs were forced to put their baby into the care of a foster family.

Del Boy making a racist joke.

And the artist who was responsible for dreamspace being charged 10,000 and a charge of manslaughter dropped, could the council be to blame for the deaths, health and safety standards slipping. The familes of the victims must be distraught.

Madonna at it again, no not that...adopting. It certainly is one rule for the rich and another for the rest of us.

Watched a fantastic show Charlie Brooker, Newswipe, a sarky view of current affairs, on Thursdays at 11.00. Spoke about the favourite word of the moment QUANTATIVEASING....he likened it to

"Filling up a petrol tank with imaginary petrol."

The idea to pump more money into the economy to encourage the banks to start lending again. Dreamed up money. Mervyn King said that nothing was certain and he didn`t know how long it would take. Then Booker quipped

"Another way to say I don`t know."

He discussed the massacre in Germany at a school, there was so much press coverage that it had "Turned the twat into a legend." The muderer`s face was disguised by using those colourful boxy marks. "So pixelated so that it looked like a photo from the Lego dimension." Must watch the next 5 programmes.

While I`m on a rant, It is not appropriate to show a Co-op advert for their funeral services on a Saturday night, while I`m watching TV, after eating Pizza, Chicken in crusty buns, chocolate merengue, Cadbury`s creme egg quaffed down with a glass of wine. They advertise easy terms. Can`t help but feel guilty for stuffing my face to the degree that I may just need them. Yeah, yeah, I know, but I`ll make a start on Monday.

The next advert shows Bobby Charlton raising a bottle to his lips.

B "I drink Actimel every day."
D "Do you bollocks, you`re only saying that because they pay you!"

Had a good morning at the Quayside market, we bought a couple of CD`s. Love the cheeses on the fresh farm products, love the assistant`s apron even more

Age is not important unless you`re a cheese.

The tourists were out in force with their camera`s standing in line with the bridges and the Sage, groups of lads were waiting for taxis no doubt after their stag weekends, which Newcastle is famous for. We drove on along our way and passed two funeral parlours, one was called The Coffin Shop and the other advertised Go as You Please. D commented that he should have bought the tandem.

Y "People would laugh at us, we`d look daft."
D " I couldn`t give a fuck."
Y "Well I could, besides I`m 57 I`d get a bad back."
D "We could just have ourselves put doon?"

We could donate ourselves to the old church, the fella could have us stuffed and put into glass boxes, we wouldn`t look out of place at his gaff, two owld fossils.