Tuesday, 24 March 2009

More from Vannesa Zandani

Wedding Vows

My mother told me to divorce him while I had the chance
To escape the torment of his hands
As the savage brute served his time in jail
Eighteen months for GBH
Injuring a barman in a local pub.
Maybe I thought for a moment, I should
Remembering the night when the police came
To take him away; the feelings of shame.
I looked at the photograph of our wedding day
Sacred vows, a solemn pledge
I thought it my duty to stay,
In the remand centre, sat at a cheap plastic table
He promised never to use violence again
Teenaged and innocent, I took it all in.


In the pitch black of night
I hear the yale lock turn,
Keep very still, be a statue,
Pretend you’re asleep, don’t even breathe
For the bogey man cometh.

My hearts pounding, I’m terrified
Sense his alcoholic breath as it thuds on each stair,
Keep very still, be a statue,
He’ll see the movement in my beating chest
For the bogey man cometh.

Bedroom door kicked open wide
Dazzling light bulb ignites,
Keep very, very still, be a statue
Pretend you’re asleep; don’t even let your eyelids flicker
Don’t taunt him, don’t even dare to breathe,
For the bogey man is here again!


A broken nose that will never mend
A blood stained tooth lying on the floor,
Long black hair yanked out from the roots
I knew I could no take much more.

His bare fists punching holes into walls
Furiously hammering down the bedroom door,
Eyes wide, thumping heart, trapped in a snare
I knew I could not take much more.

Manly boots kicking into my abdomen
Organs ruptured, wounded and raw,
Whimpering in the corner like a terrified child
I cannot take anymore


Docile bitch with synthetic hair.
To be played with by spoilt children
And cruel wicked men.
Pull my arms so the shoulders are disjointed
Spread my legs so the torso is twisted
Spin my head three hundred and sixty degrees,
Then draw on my body with bright blue felt tip pen
Erase it, scrawl again
Batter me upon the bed
Crack open my coconut head
I’m shrinking, I’m so small
Crush me, leave me for dead.

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