Money to Burn

When women have been clothes shopping, the first thing that they do is try on in the shop or, on returning home,immediately. Not so men, at least mine. D decided that most of his clothes were shite, had a mass clear out, then we went to M&S. He bought two jumpers, two shirts,T shirt and one of those shirt cum jumper efforts. He hung them up and over the next two weeks, wore the two jumpers, two in one thingy and the T shirt. When, three weeks later, he tried the other two on, they were too small.Took them back to be told that after paying £29.50 each, they had been reduced in the sale to a fiver each. As he didn`t have the receipt, guess who got the blame for not keeping HIS receipt. Apparently it was in the carrier bag, and, get this, I "Must have chucked it out." As usual he ranted that he would never shop in M&S again, and finally conceded that he should have tried them on sooner and kept proof of his own purchases more safely, a humpf!!!!

We passed the jobs bulletin board.

Y "Look there`s a job at Pizza Hut, you could get your redundancy money and work there."
D "That would be no good, I`d eat all the profits."

Doing my bit for recycling, I hauled a bag full of wine bottles after the weekend`s quaffing and dropped them into the wheely. Stepped out into the back street and neighbour J was looking sideways at me with a knowing glance

J "How many bottles did you two sink last night, I heard them all going in, one after the other."
Y "Aye, there was a few."
J "There were more than a few!!!"
Y "Oh, just tell the neighbours that they were pickle jars."
J "Not you two getting pickled then?"

Called into an ice cream caky kind of cafe`. Ordered two coffees, I couldn`t resist the strawberry flan. Usually the fruit is cut in half and placed to give the illusion that they are indeed still whole but pressed into the cream, but this tart had strawberries arranged standing to attention and you couldn`t put a pin between them, lovely. D only drank coffee. So he might be ok in a Pizza shop?????