Gorgeous creatures

Thingymagigs and Thingymabob`s

At the chap book launch of Sheree Mack at the Lit and Phil on Thursday.Her most recent work is Like the Wind over a Secret. She also read from some of her books, Seam and The White of the Moon.Her work is so moving and always about what she knows.
Wine and chocolate cake in the interval, just what I needed.

Coming back home after work tonight, I heard a mobile message from a fellow travellers phone

"You have a message your royal sexyness."

Couldn`t help but notice a few other passengers turning around to see who it was, including me giving a sideways glance. She was around 45, hair tied back in a pony tail by an elastic band, navy track suit with three white stripes down the outside leg and trainers, she was interupted during her snack of Monster Munch to reply to the message.

A young lad and lass were sitting at the back.

Lad "I feel embarassed when I have to ask the name of something when I don`t know what its called."

Lass "I just say that I`ll call it the same as what they call it."

Lad "I sometimes say The Wadyamacallit"

Lass " Or, you could say The Thingmagig or just The Thingy."

Lad "Then they say...What do you mean!!!..THE THINGY"

Lass " Or you could call it The Thingymabob...or the Whatsit."

Luckily, they got off two stops down at the Yiknowwhat stop.

A hedgehog was in our garden last night. I went to look at it and it scrooched right down. I put down a bowl of milk and bread, about half an hour later there was non left, so I`m going to put more out for it tonight. I can feed them now since the dog died. When Bullseye was here he had a raging hatred for hedgehogs after once trying to attack one. He came squealing into the house with about a dozen spikes protruding from his snout. It`s not an easy exercise pulling spikes from an English Bull Terrier`s nose, they never realise that you are trying to help them, being a breed that can bite the hand that feeds them. A couple of months later he was ready, and I still don`t know yet how he bit the head from the creature. Horrific, a perfectly formed little head lying on the grass.

Went to Flamingo Land this week with brother D, sister in law A and friend`s young daughter E. Loved this place, as it was Tuesday, not busy at all, so we just walked onto everything, no queueing. The animals were great, mea cats, giraffes, rhinos, lions and tigers (Not bears oh my) The birds were beautiful, cockatoos, parrots and some wonderful creatures that I have never seen before and of course the pink flamingo`s. Saw a clever bird show, the macaw placed jigsaw puzzles in order and repeated lots of phrases, one bird caught grapes which the handler threw into the air, but the show was cut short as a buzzard spied a pigeon flying overhead and did off. The handler enticed him back using a piece of beef, which was just as well as I didn`t fancy witnessing it pulling the head off a pigeon. I`ve had enough of decapitation.

Memories Are Made Of This

Husband D and I were talking about where we were born, Benwell, all of the houses have long gone.

Y "Why is it that we`ve lived in a fair few houses since Benwell, but we don`t talk about Denton, the West Road, Kenton Bank Foot or where we live now with the same nostalgia, even though we`ve been in this house for 33 years?"

D "Yeah, it`s strange, I think more about those times too."

Y " I`m not religious, but if there`s some way after I die that I can come back just to whiz around those old streets again, I`d know exactly where to go."

D "Well, yi divn`t naar where yer gannin noo, so yar not ganner naar after yer deed!!"

We called in to the Tynemouth Railway Station market today, and if anything can cause the memories to flood back, it`s this place.Old tea caddy`s, ornaments, jewellery,camera`s and loads of books. I spotted a set of puppets,2 Sooties, Sweep, Sue and a brown bear. The memories came flooding back and I would be able to use them for puppet shows at work, plus the shows I`m putting on at the library for a couple of schools.

Y "I`ll buy those."
D "They`re manky, you`re not paying £40 for those."
Y "That`s because they are original Chad Valley, they are antiques."
D "They look like they`ve belonged to sheep shagger anonymous."
Y "Well, I`m having them anyway!!"
D "Fucking waste of money."
Y "I don`t say that when you`re buying tools that you never use, I know I`ll use these."

We got on talking to the bloke, we noticed that he had Sooty lamps, signed photos, books, board games etc. He told us that he had lots more of this stuff at home. I got them for £35, he wouldn`t budge for £30. The brown bear alone had cost him a tenner.

Y "It was strange that he had an obsession with Sooty and he had ginger hair."

D "It was strange that he had an obsession with Sooty."

I totally object to being told that I have bought crap from someone who chose to buy a four LP collection of The Barber of Seville.

As we`re both trying to lose weight, but we could smell the chips, we agreed to share a tray between us. When it got down to the last half dozen, we were fighting to the last chip........so we went back to Marshall`s fish and chip shop, the sign outside reads The Fryery by the Priory. Both ate a plateful with a cup of tea, then justified our actions with "We didn`t ask for bread and butter." It was only £14 for two and lovely, but we walked out like Daleks afterwards. On the way home we saw a sign outside the Red Lion advertising "Credit crunch lunch for £2.99" Then as we passed through Cullercoats D noticed a sign "Fully self catering flats"

D "How can they be fully self catering, they either are or they`re not." he looked down to the bay as we swept around the corner.

D "We used to come down here when we were kids with mam, I always thought it was strange that my dad came with us, he didn`t usually go on outings. But, he used to piss off up the street to the social club."

Ah, memories are made of this.

The Age of Stupid

A must see film showing at the Star and Shadow Cinema on Friday 17th April at 7.30(Just behind the Tanners Arms before the Byker Bridge)

At Richard W Hardwick`s book launch on Thursday 9th, a complete sell out, people were crammed together, standing room only at Waterstone`s. People were buying up three at a time. Richard read from his work and Rik Fury of Dialect performed the dialogue, both were excellent and well received. We went to the pub afterwards and I met some fascinating people. Mark Read was there to support both author and performer, his daughters and Michelle who is a singer in Uplifted who meet the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays in every month, must go to hear them. Amelia, one of Mark`s daughters is a photographer who took photos of the event which will be displayed on Flickr.

Money to Burn

When women have been clothes shopping, the first thing that they do is try on in the shop or, on returning home,immediately. Not so men, at least mine. D decided that most of his clothes were shite, had a mass clear out, then we went to M&S. He bought two jumpers, two shirts,T shirt and one of those shirt cum jumper efforts. He hung them up and over the next two weeks, wore the two jumpers, two in one thingy and the T shirt. When, three weeks later, he tried the other two on, they were too small.Took them back to be told that after paying £29.50 each, they had been reduced in the sale to a fiver each. As he didn`t have the receipt, guess who got the blame for not keeping HIS receipt. Apparently it was in the carrier bag, and, get this, I "Must have chucked it out." As usual he ranted that he would never shop in M&S again, and finally conceded that he should have tried them on sooner and kept proof of his own purchases more safely, a humpf!!!!

We passed the jobs bulletin board.

Y "Look there`s a job at Pizza Hut, you could get your redundancy money and work there."
D "That would be no good, I`d eat all the profits."

Doing my bit for recycling, I hauled a bag full of wine bottles after the weekend`s quaffing and dropped them into the wheely. Stepped out into the back street and neighbour J was looking sideways at me with a knowing glance

J "How many bottles did you two sink last night, I heard them all going in, one after the other."
Y "Aye, there was a few."
J "There were more than a few!!!"
Y "Oh, just tell the neighbours that they were pickle jars."
J "Not you two getting pickled then?"

Called into an ice cream caky kind of cafe`. Ordered two coffees, I couldn`t resist the strawberry flan. Usually the fruit is cut in half and placed to give the illusion that they are indeed still whole but pressed into the cream, but this tart had strawberries arranged standing to attention and you couldn`t put a pin between them, lovely. D only drank coffee. So he might be ok in a Pizza shop?????

Jessica Johnson Showreel

Mike Edwards as Thomas Oswald Spennymoor

Word Tank Collective starring, Steve Urwin, Claire Morgan James Fisher and Mike Edwards.

The Book of Ten (Cumberland Arms)

Steve Urwin`s Waddy Slam at The Waddington Centre at Durham was a knockout success. Everyone received a free beer mat, copy of Tightrope Walker by Steve and a couple of poetry booklets. Buffet and drinks on offer. Saw some brilliant performers who I haven`t seen before and look forward to seeing again. Barbara won with her brilliant line up of poems, dark and amusing at the same time. Go girl!!Great venue and there is to be a regular event every month, watch this space.