Ads at Xmas

The Three Vicars promoting their new CD, can`t help thinking of the Father Ted
episode where Ted, Jack and Dougal enter a singing contest. In all of popedom, I never thought I`d see celebrity vicars on TV. Missed the first of three programmes that Bernard Braden had recorded in the sixties, 1968 Unseen, Maureen Lipman, Lulu and Sylvia Sym were all dumbfounded to watch themselves smoking during interviews, they looked so young. In the 2000`s every celebrity and his mate is into advertising, but BB was scrapped for taking part in a TV advert. His idea for the programme had been to interview the stars and then three years later catch up with them again, it never got to that and the films were shelved, but make excellent viewing now.

W.H. Smith`s have a sign above the women`s magazines "Women`s Monthlies" now if I`m not mistaken, that is what my mother used to call her menstrual cycle, must have been thought up by a man!!!! It`s like going into a sports shop and seeing a sign for Men`s Balls. But,my favourite so far was a pair of wellies in Fenwicks store, how cruel is that, chocolates emblazoned all over them, only to be worn by the poker thin, because every time you went to put them on, that which many women try not to think about would be always on their minds.

Those two solicitors who ripped off terminally ill miners, they were already loaded and saw fit to pinch from people who haven`t got two pennies to rub together. They fall into the same category as Shannon Matthews mother, already filching off the tax payers and then she tries to get more.

Chico was walking around on the kitchen floor whistling Jingle Bells, none of us have taught him that, so he must have heard it on a TV advert. The Iceland ads show prawns on spoons, we bought some, they were lovely, the spoons went into the dishwasher and I`ll just put a dollop of Thousand Island sauce and a prawn on the top and we`re ready to go again.

I felt quite happy the other day on the bus, sitting peacefully and comfortably watching a couple of young mothers with toddlers in tow. How thankful I was that I`m past all of that, loved being with my sons when they were small, but hated travelling around, all that baggage to bring along too. Then at the next stop, illusions shattered, a grandmother struggling with a buggy and toddler. It had been raining heavily and she was adjusting the shower hood, digging out her purse etc. My youngest son P has been married for 3 years to B and no sign of a grandchild, eldest son is in a good relationship with E, but no hint of moving in together. No doubt when a littlun comes along I`ll be the first to offer my services.

D has just dropped a jar of carbonara sauce onto the tiles, the glass is shattered among a clump of creamy sludge. He looked at me as if to say, how do I sweep this up, you know that helpless look when they don`t want to do something themselves. So...I swept it up as he pontificates about how the jars were balanced precariously, not his fault of course!!! Why is it that men never remove the things in front of the item they want, instead, they pull the object out from under everything else?

The vicars might want another popish person to complete their lineup?