पास ओं एअर्थ

(Translation) Peace on Earth

Went to interview one of the members of the Knit and Knatter club who helped to construct the Woolly West. Turns out that her father was a kind of Jimmy Forsyth, whereas Jimmy seems to have more pics of buildings, Sylvia Wood`s (nee Kirk) dad took mainly people and the buildings just happened to be in the background, but he has preserved some brilliant shots, an old Hillman Imp, bright red and the old streets and back lanes. She lives in a high rise flat in Benwell and the views around the village are brilliant, her neighbour called in as pal IW and me were there and she has a south facing apartment with views of the Gateshead Angel. Sylvia has dozens of her creations around her place, embroidered eagle, knitted cottage, medieval knights and lots of flowers, her paintings are amazing, mainly of old folks, faces with character. She has loaned me three of her albums (Taken from two giant cardboard boxes full of slides, paintings etc)

On the way out of the building we noticed a small wicker bin with a notice above it in thick dark pen, the words "IN CASE OF NUCLEAR ATTACK, HIDE UNDER THE BIN, IT`S THE ONLY PLACE THAT WON`T GET HIT!" some poor caretaker is not happy with the litter problem I take it.

While trying to enjoy watching The Book Show, husband D was itching to hit the shops, so I reminded him that I have to sit through Little House on the Prarie or John Wayne so he`d have to wait or go alone. He insited on mutting and tutting throughout. A comment was made on Proust and a recommendation

"If you read this it can sort out some of life`s problems."
D. "Yeah, if you put it in the toilet when you`ve ran out of paper."
Then someone on the panel said
"When you go to bed you need a good book."
D "Do you fuck."
Nigella Lawson is promoting a dish with maple syrup and Mariella says that now it`s flowing off the shelves
D "And now everyone`s got the trots."
I ask him to shut up as I can`t hear properly for the running commentary, but no.
Nigella is talking with her usual drawly filler noise "awar, awar warrrr." and showing off her turkey stuffing with her low neck top.
She reveals that she doesn`t have penis envy, then Simon Callow appears.
D "How very very very boring."
Y "Piss off then!"
D "If you chopped their hands off they wouldn`t be able to speak."

Just remembered an experiment on the Paul O`Grady Show, they were enticing cats to test which turkey they liked the best, only one of them sniffed at Nigella`s and the other dozen or so moggys preferred Delia`s.

Thoroughly enjoyed Lead Balloon, Rick`s Xmas, Magda in mourning, Clive the neighbour forcing himself on them, Rick chucking Jelly Tots into the audience and "Could have had someone`s eye out" and Michael`s failed relationship.

I`ve got a couple of new books to read, Julie Walters That`s Another Story and Bobby Thompson A Private Audience, in the hope that I`m going to have some peace at Xmas. But the highlight will be visiting son P and daughter in law B for a few days over the Bank Holidays. Son G is back from London with girlfriend E and he will be going to her family for Xmas dinner so there will be peace on earth:)aided by a nice glass of brandy.

Selfish gets

After trawling up and down the alleys for a parking space at the Metro Centre, we finally secured a spot. Then I was well pissed off to see a blue transit van parked square in four spaces. Suddenly thought that I should have taken a photo for the blog as I got to the entrance of M&S, then promised myself that I`d do it when we came out, but van had gone by then.

On Friday, finished work at 6.00, Hubby D was on his staff night out, as it is the only night in the year that I have totally on my own, I couldn`t wait to get home, no TV, read my book, a couple of glasses of wine, a bar of chocolate and peace perfect peace. As he`d been on a day off, I`d asked him to get the Xmas tree from the loft. The box of decorations was there, lights, santa, reindeer,snowman hats and a pair of red glittery horns, but.......only the bottom half of the tree and no stand!!! So, it was all left on the floor until Saturday morning. I hate the blasted lights anyway, can never get the bloody things to wrap around properly.

Love the Woolly West knitting display at the Benwell Library, they`ve created a 3d street, rag and bone man,factories and shops and some of the titles for various groups are great Knitty Norah, Stitch and Bitch, Glittyknittykitty, Tabby dashery.

Met pal K at one of our favourite eateries in town, the staff were mutting and tutting about a customer who had an issue with the peas. I had the sausage and mash, K had beef stew, hers came in a lovely pot with a lid on. The lad behind the counter is the double of Peter Kay, half expected him to burst out with Amarillo as he wove his way between the tables, pen and pad in hand.

Waited for the No 40 bus, the 63 came first, it was freezing and the people at the stop moved towards the door, driver sat in the warm and kept the door shut for another five minutes before he let them on, another selfish get. But my heart was warmed by the sight of a chipper lollypop man leading the kids across the road on Chapel House wearing his Santa suit under his reflective jacket, now that`s what I call the real spirit of Xmas.....oh..and speaking of heart warming moments,popped into the cobblers on Adelaide Terrace, the counter sported about eight pairs of boots and shoes, the cobbler informed me that they were pairs that he`d repaired, but the customers hadn`t called back for them,the old folks call in and he gives them a pair for £1, hardly cover the cost of the materials.

A truly hearwarming event was the sight of G.W.B pelted with a pair of shoes by an Iraqi journalist, I know where he can get more supplies?

Ads at Xmas

The Three Vicars promoting their new CD, can`t help thinking of the Father Ted
episode where Ted, Jack and Dougal enter a singing contest. In all of popedom, I never thought I`d see celebrity vicars on TV. Missed the first of three programmes that Bernard Braden had recorded in the sixties, 1968 Unseen, Maureen Lipman, Lulu and Sylvia Sym were all dumbfounded to watch themselves smoking during interviews, they looked so young. In the 2000`s every celebrity and his mate is into advertising, but BB was scrapped for taking part in a TV advert. His idea for the programme had been to interview the stars and then three years later catch up with them again, it never got to that and the films were shelved, but make excellent viewing now.

W.H. Smith`s have a sign above the women`s magazines "Women`s Monthlies" now if I`m not mistaken, that is what my mother used to call her menstrual cycle, must have been thought up by a man!!!! It`s like going into a sports shop and seeing a sign for Men`s Balls. But,my favourite so far was a pair of wellies in Fenwicks store, how cruel is that, chocolates emblazoned all over them, only to be worn by the poker thin, because every time you went to put them on, that which many women try not to think about would be always on their minds.

Those two solicitors who ripped off terminally ill miners, they were already loaded and saw fit to pinch from people who haven`t got two pennies to rub together. They fall into the same category as Shannon Matthews mother, already filching off the tax payers and then she tries to get more.

Chico was walking around on the kitchen floor whistling Jingle Bells, none of us have taught him that, so he must have heard it on a TV advert. The Iceland ads show prawns on spoons, we bought some, they were lovely, the spoons went into the dishwasher and I`ll just put a dollop of Thousand Island sauce and a prawn on the top and we`re ready to go again.

I felt quite happy the other day on the bus, sitting peacefully and comfortably watching a couple of young mothers with toddlers in tow. How thankful I was that I`m past all of that, loved being with my sons when they were small, but hated travelling around, all that baggage to bring along too. Then at the next stop, illusions shattered, a grandmother struggling with a buggy and toddler. It had been raining heavily and she was adjusting the shower hood, digging out her purse etc. My youngest son P has been married for 3 years to B and no sign of a grandchild, eldest son is in a good relationship with E, but no hint of moving in together. No doubt when a littlun comes along I`ll be the first to offer my services.

D has just dropped a jar of carbonara sauce onto the tiles, the glass is shattered among a clump of creamy sludge. He looked at me as if to say, how do I sweep this up, you know that helpless look when they don`t want to do something themselves. So...I swept it up as he pontificates about how the jars were balanced precariously, not his fault of course!!! Why is it that men never remove the things in front of the item they want, instead, they pull the object out from under everything else?

The vicars might want another popish person to complete their lineup?

Chico joining in with song "Pet Bird"

Post Colonial Research Group Seminar Series

Worth taking a look at this event taking place in Percy Buildings on Wednesday 10th December featuring Dr. Kobena Mercer "Poetic Monsters and the Post Colonial Grotesque" She writes and teaches on the visual arts of the black diaspora.
"His first book Welcome to the Jungle (1994) opened new lines of enquiry in art, film and photography and his writings feature in several landmark anthologies including Out There (1990) Cultural Studies (1992)Art and it`s Histories (1998) and Theorizing Diaspora (2003)" by Tom Kelly

Be there for 5.pm in Room G9.

Christine Fieldhouse Book Launch

Christine Fieldhouse gave an excellent talk on her book Why Do Monsters Come Out at Night. She is very approachable and gave great advice and answered questions on tips in becoming published, obtaining an agent and she has a website which gives advice to aspiring writers. www.christinefieldhouse.co.uk Her father was an alcoholic and
"In this frank and honest memoir, Christine contrasts her confused and frightened childhood with the easy and innocent life of her young son."

Been to talk with another ex resident of Benwell, Bob Speight, spent a hilarious 2 hours with him and his wife Janet. He remembered when he and a couple of his pals came across some old Charlie Chaplin reels of film at the back of a film distributing company. As it was made of nitrate, it had been banned in cinemas. The pals rolled it into cylinders, then wrapped paper around, one end was twisted and the other wrapped, they lit the twisted end and when it was well alight, stamped on it. This gave off an evil pong. This was done in the washing room of a block of flats. Little sods. He was also given a sixpence to act dead or dying at a specially constructed site which was meant to assimilate a bomb site. Someone would set off a flare, then lots of men would run about pretending to diffuse incendiary devices. Then Bob and his pal would be bandaged and rushed about on stretchers...happy days.
So I`ve got 2,600 words from him, it`s getting there and I still have more interviews lined up.

Watched an advert on TV for Nintendo Wii. Two women are excitedly pressing keys on their hand held controls on a sofa in one of their homes. There are two little people rushing around in a similar cartoon home. Neither of the women are talking to eachother, but one of the little women on screen is saying to her pal "Come in and see my new furniture."???????????? Is the art of conversation really dead?