Pretending to Buy a Car

Bulk mail has now infiltrated my inbox..."Don`t look fat and stupid this summer" Thanks for the reminder. I`m now receiving up to 18 a day.

Stopped off at a service cafe on the motorway, £23 for two salads, 2 coffees (the most disgusting I`ve ever tasted) and two bottles of orange juice. As we ate two women walked past us on the way out, caught a snippet of conversation "That was the most disgusting coffee I have ever tasted".

We spent time at a friends caravan, husband D opens the door steps inside and stands there like a doll in a cuckoo clock as I pick out the bags. We go into Penrith to a great Mexican restaurant and go to see Sex in the City. As usual we are first there, a tall pony tailed man is marching back and forwards using his mobile, saying "Australia, deadlines and low budget film next time" quite a lot. He gives instructions to a gormless looking assistant who swings her legs on a tall stool next to the popcorn machine. By this time there are about twenty of us waiting to go in. The crowd for Indiana Jones are leaving, and Ponytail appears at the top of the stairs and announces

"Anyone for Sex and the City will you come upstairs" someone laughs

There are some great one liners, a bit too long, and very decadent. I saw a picture of the four of them at the premier, none of them wore a pair of shoes under £400, I could replace my whole wardrobe for that!!!

Back home, D has arranged for new fencing to divide the back garden to make the car port larger next to the garage. He stands at the kitchen window watching them work, and occasionally pops out to ask a question. When they have finished, I tell D that it looks wonky, he gets out his spirit level and announces that it`s a quarter of an inch out, yeah... of course it is. I`m not to bothered because I`ll plant Clematis in front of it, just have to ignore it for a couple of years until it grows over.

Bearing in mind that it had been raining, the men had retreated to their van a couple of times, as soon as they leave D gets out his spray creosote machine, thingymagig. He is out there for a couple of hours and the wood looks a bit darker, but most of it spirals in puff balls over the fence. He is wearing his new jeans, I can tell because he still has the long sticky tape strip(which tells you what size they are) he`s also wearing new shoes!!!! the tea shirt, I`m not bothered about the T shirt becoming creosoted, it`s his black one with a white trim around the neck, makes him look like a vicar, always hated that one.

D is contemplating buying a new car, so rather than go with him, I read the paper. I smile as I remember when our lads were younger, D would say "I`M GETTING A NEW CAR" We would be all breathless stir, spend half a day trawling around the showrooms, then he would back out. The kids used to call it "Dad`s pretending to buy a car"

The photo shows the beginnings of the new library, even the pigeons don`t know where to sit anymore. He looks like he`s missing the old building too.