Sunday, 2 January 2011

Please hang up and try again later

Why say Pigs in blankets? I can cope with eating a sausage wrapped in bacon, I know it`s pork and from a pig, but there`s something unsavoury when they have that name. Other than that little old lady moan, it`s been a good Xmas and New Year. Now I`m ready to get cracking with new projects and updating old ones. I`ve ordered a gas mask from ebay to add to my collection of memorabilia. I didn`t know that WW2 masks had asbestos in them! So I`ll not be letting anyone try it on. Also ordered a 1960 telephonist`s headset. Brought back memories of when I was a G.P.0 telephonist. Hoax calls, pervert calls and irate customers spiced up the job. A man asked for a transfer charge call to Edmundbyers.

Me "I have a call from Edmundbyers, will you accept the charge?"

Woman "Yes"

Man "Hello"

Woman "Hello Edmund."

Man "You stupid cow, that`s the village I`m calling from!"

I once picked up a 999 call from a hysterical Spanish woman screaming for police. We were required to listen in at the beginning of a call to check that they were through to the appropriate service or if they put the phone down, the location could be traced. She screamed "Help Help", I imagined no less than a murder case. "My chickens have escaped" she yelled. When the policeman suggested that this was not an emergency, she shrieked back at him that it was to her and they had better get someone round there to round them up!!

I`ve got a booking for Age Concern soon, so I`ll pack up my collection of stuff from the past. Got some new stories and photos to add so I`m looking forward to trying them out.

Watched Inception, loved this film, now one of my favourites, a little bit Matrix-y but action packed and you ceratinly couldn`t make a cup of tea while it`s on. Got tickets for the play Faith and Cold Healing at Live Theatre, but that`s not on until March, so I`ll be looking around for something new in the meantime. On TV over the Xmas - Toast was brilliant and enjoyed the three episodes of Upstairs Downstairs and The Indian Doctor. Missed Meera Syal on Saturday radio playing Shirley Valentine, thought I could get it on iplayer, but it`s been taken off, hey that`s a bit early! I suppose I could try again later, but Alan Bennett`s Lady in the Van is available so I`ll listen to that for now.

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