To Boldly Go

I asked for a half day on Friday as I was being picked up at 5.00 to travel to York where I was staying in a hotel with the Children`s Rights team before the event on Saturday at Flamingoland. On my way home to pack an overnight bag, I rummaged through my handbag for my door keys. Not there, I`d forgotten to pick them up from the bench. Shit, I`d have to find somewhere to go till D and G came in from work, what a waste of a half day, but all was not lost, discovered that G was on a day leave and was at home. He was dog sitting his girlfriend`s sister`s poodle. It charged at the patio door as I arrived as if I was the intruder. Intending to pack a few items, but G announces he needs to go to Wickes for plaster. Leaves Lola with me for an hour, having warned me not to go near her face as she`d been eating cat shit from the garden.

Didn`t get to York until 8.00 and left our bags at reception to go straight through for evening meal, fabulous food and company. I was shown to my room by a member of hotel staff, I noticed that he slid a card into a holder on the wall as he was talking. He mentioned that I could ring 0 if I needed anything, that the bathroom was up the spiral stair, removed his card, then left. I faffed around for a bit, then decided to go up the iron staircase to the bathroom, had only been up there a minute and all of the lights went out. Pitch black, and I mean totally coal type black. I had visions of falling down the stair well as I held my arms out in front of me inching towards the banister. Made i down the stairs and realised that hotel blokey had activated the lights with the card he`d used to gain entry into the room. Now the challenge was to make my way to the bedside drawers to find the card and scale the wall to place it into the holder. Problem solved. Not being too used to posh hotels, he could have explained that, what if I`d been on my way down the frigging things when the light went out!!

I must have woken up around 4.00, lying on my back and completely disorientated, beamed in on the hole in the ceiling where the spiral stair disappeared into and nearly passed out with fright.

We got to the site around 7.30 amd began setting up ready for the kids to arrive. Thankfully there were no balloons to blow up with the aid of a gas bottle this year. My thoughts went back to the first event I worked at. The first gas bottle ran out, B asked if anyone knew how to switch, M said that he did, but he didn`t, he loosened the key, an ear splitting wheeeeeeeeeee, he dropped the bottle and legged it, we all did the same splitting to the four winds. Brave little B crawled towards it on her tummy and turned it off. I thought that my heart was about to burst through my chest. A high wind got up and we could hear fellow workers shouting for help as their tent was blowing away.It was a good laugh...afterwards.






The kids had a great time, I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the animals, African dancers etc. Everything went smoothly this year, apart from going where no man had gone before..... in a spiral fashion.

Pinklane Poetry and Performance

Company set up by Jess Johnson and photos by Bish.

Late Show

Newcastle has been buzzing with activity this Friday and Saturday.Late Shows from 7-11 and beyond took place around the city, art galleries, the new Central Library and the Lit and Phil all staged performance poetry, dance and bands.The Castle Keep stayed open and the Victoria Tunnel which stretches in warrens underground. Tyneside Cinema is built over an old monastery on Pilgrim Street, there are supposed to be ghosts galore, visitors took part in ghost hunts and late night screenings.

The new library is fabulous, loads of floor space, the archive is on the 6th floor and they have a viewing platform where views of around the city can be seen and photographed. Kate Fox performed her comic poems and held the audience with her razor wit, she engaged the crowd in an objects swapping game, which connected everyone there. At our poetry group we have been reading her Why I book of poems and her newest collection, Why Not I, is fun, witty and in her unique voice.

Took a trip to the quayside today, we called in to the Baltic, haven`t been in there for a while, so when we took the lift to the sixth floor expecting to find more gallery space, we stumbled into Six Restaurant, stayed and were served fabulous food, the staff are really friendly and a live guitarist with fabulous views of the riverside included. We will definitely be back. As its surrounded by glass, it was quite warm in there, but it`s been a hot day anyway, so I was surprised to see a man in his 30`s sitting at the next table wearing a jumper and a scarf tied double around his neck. When he stood up he was wearing knee length white shorts, white socks and trainers. It must be hard work and uncomfortable to stay in fashion.

Just stuffed a chocolate pudding with belgian chocolate sauce and custard, the pudding was best before 12th, so if I get the Brad Pitts later I only have myself to blame, but it seemed like sacrilege to waste it.

D is watching Britain`s Got Talent, the audience shouting Off,Off,Off. Went in to see what was going on and there`s a bloke flower arranging. Went back to the computer and heard husband D shouting "Come and see this little lad called Aidan dancing." Wow, what a fantastic dancer!!!!

Monkfish Productions Poetry Booth

NOTHIN` GOIN` ON BUT THE RENT
Husband D is furious at the swindling politicians "We have to buy our own toilet seats like everyone else. What exactly DO they spend their wages on?" Makes the situation even more infuriating to know that they are considering the abolition of free bus passes for pensioners, as we only have three years to go, it will probably be decided for then!!! I`m depending on that pass, I`ll probably need to get out a bit more often if we both decide to retire together. Will be strange, all of a sudden both of us having so much time together. In contrast to these greedy gets, I was standing in the queue at the fish shop when the customer in front gave £1 back to the assistant who had given her too much change.And what a contrast to "Oh, I forgot that I paid off that £16,000 on my mortgage, silly me."

Found two great new puppets in a charity shop. The assistants were in deep conversation on the subject of swine flu as I approached the till

A "Wor Susan said ti me. Muther, if yee gan aroond wi one of them masks on aal nivor speak ti yi again!"
B "Well, they dee look daft." while arranging a guide to potty training a toddler and a pocket book on aeroplanes on the shelves.

Then the conversation turned to the problem of flies around hanging baskets.

What`s with the fashion of M.C Hammer trousers resurfacing, how they manage to keep them from falling around their ankles beats me, and those billowy backside blouses, when the wind blows, the air goes up them, do they want to look like pears?

Pinklane Poetry and Performance went brilliantly well, a wide range of great acts, music and comedy, people up dancing at the end and fantastic songs by Jazz singer Margaret Frayne with Melville the puppet (Puppeteer Mark Percy)

Gained experience at puppet shows at the local library, 100 children came through the doors, so I staged four shows. A bit scary at first, but by the last one I had gained more confidence, two more next week.

Loved the Poetry Booth event at Benwell Library on 13th May staged by Monkfish Productions. They set up between 2.00pm-5.00pm, a wide variety of poets from the very young to elderly. It was great to see groups of young lads sitting around a table discussing what to write for their performance.

Another good night at the Cumberland Arms on Thursday with Catherine Graham, Tom Kelly, Kate Fox and Kayla Fox performing. I read some of my new work, but need to finish some stuff that I`ve been working on, but it`s getting the time. If I didn`t have to go to work, I suppose I could run for parliament, fall asleep in the commons, do nowt for the wage, put a claim in to have my stuff published, hold a massive book launch with bottles of Bolly and caviar, then retire to my second, or third home while gaining interest on my massive offshore account. We will never know how much they really have ripped us off.

Wife in the North (Judith O`Reilly at the Laing Art Gallery

The reading was enjoyed by all, very amusing and heart wrenching at the same time, and delivered in such a way that it appealed to all. I`m positive that she should write poetry too as in parts, her work is very lyrical and moving, each description paints a picture. She is currently working on a second book.

I had intended spending ten minutes recording, as ne1 fm radio station (which for the next two weeks is stationed at Cruddas Park Community Centre) but in fact completed half an hour, was very nervous, but pleased I did it and would definitely have another go. I read an excerpt from the local history book, Benwell Remembered, which is in the process of publication, spoke about local history month at Benwell library throughout May, Quayside Stories on Wednesday 6th May at the Bridge Hotel for poetry, music, comedy and performance, the Jazz Club event hosted by Pinklane Poetry on 7th, Sheree Mack`s event at the Lit and Phil next Tuesday 12th and the Ten by Ten performance evening at the Cumberland Arms on 14th. I mentioned the project that I am involved in with Barbara Cage at Cruddas Park Community Centre recording memories of the women in the Tuesday ladies group. I also had the opportunity to read four poems and answer questions.

Why are major clothing companies considering charging more to women with bigger breasts. It shouldn`t be an issue to me as I fall into the category of fried eggs, but it seems so unjust. Why do they charge the same price for a style of t shirt, skirt, dress etc, but for titty keepers... a size B is cheaper than a ff.It`s FFing Outrageous.

Chico dancing to Jazz background music

Chico was well into the background jazz music until he saw me watching him, I`ve got a shy bird folks. They have a habit of doing this, when friends call, they say, "He doesn`t say much!" Reminds me of the woman on X Factor who sang out of tune hoping that her African Grey would follow suit. It just sat there. I could have told her that before she went on, they always clam up when anyone watches them. Notice that he says "Hawair" in a proper Geordie accent.(Meaning "Come on")

Beckett (Old Grey Whistle Test)

Icons

Luckily my sister in law A and a friend M warned me against feeding hedgehogs milk and bread, it gives them the Brad Pitts and can make them extremely ill, so I`ll be giving him pet food in future. I witnessed another afront to animals at a club, not living creatures you understand, a so called comedy duo performed a puppet show using a letcherous Sooty and Sue the panda. Sue was dressed in a flared skirt which Sooty lifted to look underneath, then he attempted to have it off with her, so she whacked him so hard that the puppet flew across the stage. Well, enough of puppet perversions for now, suffice it to say that I would never allow MY puppets to behave in such a manner, but my audience are of pre-school age. The rest of their act relied on jokes aimed at the women, so not on my list to see again.

The writer`s group at the Lit and Phil went well, Catherine Graham took the workshop, the subject was The Journey, she read a poem by Auden first, we discussed it then took 45 minutes to write. New member to the group Rosalyn is taking next months workshop, I`m thinking of putting myself forward for the June one. Afterwards, me and L went to the Station Hotel for a coffee and cabatta, it`s a beautiful building with fabulous chandeliers in the foyer.

Met some brilliant older residents at the Cruddas Park Community Centre, I donned my pinny and turban, acted out some of my poems, then we had a good old chinwag about their memories. Joyce`s parents were manager`s of the Gunn pub on Scotswood Road, then they took over the Hydraulic Crane, she is bringing photos next week. It would be great if we can get a book out of this. Barbara drew my attention to the fact that I have missed writing on pigeon fanciers and allotments, something I`m working on now, have written two. She is arranging a meeting with a couple of fanciers, so I can pick their brains.

Brilliant band Old School were performing at the Lemington Labour Club on Saturday, must go and see them again, they gig at North Shields regularly. Bob Barton is the lead singer, what a voice and a great guitarist, drummer and bass guitarist in the band. Bob was in Beckett in the early seventies and can be seen in a clip on the Old Grey Whistle Test on youtube, beats me why they didn`t become huge. They are well known among musicians.

Keith Crombie, another locally known icon is running the Jazz Club in Newcastles Pink Lane, he helped to run the Downbeat and Club a Go Go in the 60`s. I could never get in to the Downbeat as I was too young, but managed the Go Go, saw Long John Baldry there. I chatted to Keith for a couple of hours, writing down his memories as he is also a Benwell lad. The bands he must have seen, Alan Price and the Animals among them. So it was great when the first song Old School performed was an Animals number.

I`ve saved the best bit till last, so G and girlfriend E have put in an offer for a house.....I daren`t breathe...could this be the end of whiskers blown from the shaver across my bathroom, empty pizza boxes, penicillin in the cups under his bed?
I pray that it goes through, me and D will be like the couple in the advert...they stand at the front door, looking on as their son (about 40) places the last of his possessions into his car. They wave him off, then the camera pans behind them and they each hold a Champagne glass!!! I have plans for his room, it will be a larger guest room than the box one we are using at the moment. I can hear some of the mothers of young children saying "What a heartless cow!" But...he is 32 this year, so wait till your little darlings are leaving four pairs of number 10 shoes around your gaff before you judge me.