Wife in the North by Judith O`Reilly

Just got back from a brilliant evening at Blackwell`s Book Shop in Newcastle City Centre. The book launch of Judith O`Reilly

"Maybe hormones ate her brain. How else would Judith`s husband persuade her to give up her career and move from her beloved London to Northumberland with two toddlers in tow?"

I discovered her blog by word of mouth from my friend Kate, and became hooked. I am a blogger myself since my daughter in law Bobbi set one up for me. She had started blogging since she and my son were on honeymoon two years ago. And, now that I`m addicted, if there is any way that I can pass on the obsession, I`m in. I asked a friend, Mick if he had a blog and he answered

"No, but I`ve got a sister in the Russian Navy...what is a blog?"

It does seem like savage amusement at times, what to leave in and leave out, but now that I have advice from an expert, I`m going to start blogging my poems, here goes.

Love

You never lower the toilet seat,
The toothpaste lidless lies.
Junk pressed into the pedal bin,
Attracting all the flies.

You never fold the paper,
The news is back to front.
And when I ask a question,
All I get`s a grunt.

Where is the washing basket?
You can`t locate it`s base.
Wet towels upon the bathroom floor,
It`s one big paper chase.

The cups bear penicillin,
The plates are welded high.
Pizza, burger, Macky Dees,
Baked beans, Kentucky Fry,

There`s just one thing I`d like to say,
Before my time is done,
"I`ve loved you more than life itself
because you are my son."

Well, that`s one of the collection so far, I`m part of the line up of performers at The Cumberland Arms, Ten by Ten evening where ten people perform ten poems in ten minutes. It`s next Thursday at 8.00 and will be really scary for me, hope it goes down well. Most of my poems are in Geordie dialect, I`ll be wearing a paisley pinny and a turban, copied from my mother.

Divn`t Show Is Up

Me Muther wore a turban,
Of workin class design,
She`d wear a paisly pinny
Peggin washin on the line.

The front door step was gleamin,
Scrubbed with lovin care.
She used a slab of donkey stone,
STEP ON IT IF YI DARE.

The Provi man would visit,
The interest rate was high,
Twenty Bob, aal you`d need
Helped yi to get by.

Ee Peggy, here`s me Provi
(I`d duck me heed in shame)
We`re gannin doon ti Farnon`s,
Ee well I`m deein the same.

We`d board the bus,
Gaan ti the toon.
Aw Mam, divn`t tell them aal,
For God`s sake keep it doon!

There might be kids from doon wor street,
Thinkin that we`re poor,
Aa cannit hold me heed up,
So can yi please giv oower?

Calm doon pet,me Muther said,
Cheer up and have a laugh.
They`re aal nee better than yersel,
We`re aal in the same tin bath.

I asked Judith O`Reilly if I should put my poems on the blog, and she gave me the thumbs up to have a go, so thanks again Judith for an inspirational evening, keep up the good work kid.