Charity begins at home

Needed to pick up a photo from Venture Photography on Gosforth High Street, decided to take a look in a charity shop. I spied a skirt and proceeded to the dressing room (A kind of cupboard with a curtain)Outside the curtain and flapping around in front of it was a toddler, his mother kept repeating his name, so I knew that the little darling was Benedict.

Benedict: "Mummy, can I take a look at that bloke up there?"
Mummy: "You mean the Action Man on the shelf.....excuse me could we see that? (To the assistant?"
Assistant: "Of course....how old is he?"
Mummy: "He`s nearly three, aren`t you?"
Benedict"Look at my nipper grabber"

He continued to bash up against the curtain, and as the cubicle was near the door, I had visions of everyone on the high street catching an eyefull, but I was intrigued, what was a nipper grabber? It turned out to be a kind of plastic scorpion contraption, when he pulled it the pincers worked.

I bought the skirt, it was only £2.50, a real bargain, and a triumph for recycling. I tell myself this, but I really need to stop buying and clear out half of my wardrobe, It`s definitely an obsession this bargain hunting.

Last summer I helped out at the Ofsted Children`s Rights Conference. The workers were all assembled in the marquee, two massive helium bottles were being used to blow up balloons, when one of them ran out D asked if anyone knew how to change the regulator. M stepped forward confidently, pulled the top off it and the most excruciatingly earsplitting wheeeeeeeeeeee came exploding out, he then dropped the bottle and legged it. It scared the shit out of everyone so we all split to the four winds. Have you ever ran as fast as your legs can carry you ,but you appear to be going nowhere fast? Bravely D ran back inside and shut it down, meanwhile I stood by my cowardly self until everything had died down. I had visions of the bottle going into a tail spin and ripping through the tent.

We were all given walkie talkies, everyone`s worked except the one which was given to the team I was in (wouldn`t you just know) A high wind got up and we could hear team 4 shouting for help, their tent was on the way skywards and they were holding onto the tent pegs. J and I sent T as he was the only man, good excuse. It was a great day, the children who attended went on the free rides and gained lots of prizes, so in spite of everything else, I was willing to go again this year.

Needless to say, M was obviously going to be up for some stick at this year`s fun day. "keep him away from the balloons" that kind of thing. We travelled by train and went straight to Drayton Manor fun park, sorted out the resources ready for the next day and were at the hotel for around 9.30. Had a fabulous evening meal and loved my bedroom, looked out of the window where a golf course was in view. I was amazed to see the green covered in balls, I thought people pinched them. Mentioned this to sister in law A

"Oh, nobody does, they all have printed on them STOLEN FROM ******* HOTEL"

No hassle this time, so I`m in for next year if needed.

The detective working on the Darwin case has warned everyone "Don`t even think about doing a Darwin.!" They hadn`t quite cracked the "Lying low because we`re criminals." concept. It was bound to have gone pear shaped in the end, but how`s that for irony...setting up a canoe company? I suppose it would have worked if he hadn`t taken out a library ticket, couldn`t they have bought books at a charity shop with all the money they had? But they obviously believe that charity begins at home, pity that they didn`t include their own sons in this philosophy.