A Place of One`s Own

D is watching a John Wayne cowboy film, he falls asleep, the minute I switch channels he shouts. "I was watching that!" "Oh yes." I say "So what was it about." "I know what it`s about, ok, just put it back on the channel." then dozes off again. I flip to another channel in time to hear Jonathan Ross say to Julian Clary "So you were held to wansom" they are speculating whether he would have been tortured on his visit to Russia when he accompanied a gay rights activist. I decide to stay tuned as Sting is on next. Having watched my choice I am in time to turn back to D`s channel as he wakes up again. This time, there is another John Wayne film on, they are aboard a WW2 battle ship, they are saying things such as.
"Pass the word to abandon ship." "Fire over her bow" "Clear the bridge" "Report to the bridge" "Take a star shell over her" "Here`s our log, take it to your captain" "I think they`re going to ram us sir." Yawwwwwwwn. I switch again, he complains once more that he was "Watching that" but when I again question him on the content, he reports dialogue from the cowboy film.

Chico, our parrot lands on the computer desk, and as he is on the edge, he uses the radio aerial to hold himself upright, there are little beak dints all over it. I give him a metal ring, and he holds it in his claw, looking around the room through the hole. D and G are not flavour of the month with the bird, he allows me to scratch his head, and will sit on my arm, but he bites son and husband if they try to touch him. If anyone picks up a phone he shouts "Hello, how are you...ok the know...you ok..se ya..tara." then makes the sound of the phone going back into the stand. A friend at work also has an African Grey and a dog called Blue. The dog was barking and she shouted "BLUE" the parrot added his own words "Get into your bed"

We go to a family birthday barbeque,my sister in law`s mother B is 80. There is lovely food and lots of people there. Husband D and brother D enjoy partaking of the alcohol, Hus D asks my brother "Do you polish your head?" Then tells an onlooker, how when he was young he wouldn`t have minded if his hair had turned purple, as long as he didn`t go bald" How`s that for tact? B`s husband S has a wheelchair, he is indoors and the chair is in the garden, brother parks his backside on it drinking from a bottle of Becks, it makes a great photo. G is in charge of the bbq and as his sausages are becoming carcenogenic, a fire engine can be heard, he stops in his tracks, and when it speeds past, service is resumed.

I tell D that there is a guided walk in town and ask if he would like to go, he is waiting for people arriving to view the caravan which he has for sale in the newspaper, so he declines the offer.

I turn up near the central station near the Hume statue to meet up with others who are interested in their heritage for a guided walk around Newcastle.The talk is on the Seedy and Sophisticated in the time of Jane Austen. We
take a look into the Old Assembly rooms, we are in what would have been the sophisticated part of town. There are fabulous chandeliers,
paintings and stories of a ghost. We go to the back of St Nicholas Cathedral and see the buildings where ThomasBewick and Ralph Beilby worked and view the old castle walls near an ancient building which was once used as a lunatic asylum, the guide is describing what the conditions would have been like, when a gang of teenage lads swagger through the arch of the wall, acting themselves, one is trying to climb up the wall. The guide says "So....nothing has changed" We move on to the part of town which would have been "seedy" in the late 1700s to witness a girl in a gold lame top and shorts swinging fire sticks above her head, then a crowd of lads spill out of Revolution bar dressed as nurses wearing wigs and suspenders.

Four couples have viewed the caravan and there are no takers. I mention this to friend S, she reminds me that the writer Roald Dahl had a den in which he used to write his stories, she thinks it would be a good idea for me to use the caravan for my writing. I inform D of this, and he thinks it`s a great idea. So. he promptly takes his spare stereo, portable TV and speakers, installs them in the van, and disappears for a couple of hours. This is not exactly what I had in mind, but on reflection, he has no heating up there, I have Sky TV in the house and my own lap top, what more can I ask....Peace at last.