Monday, 5 September 2011
Kids do wonders for your self confidence, who`d have them? After the last car burst into flames, D swore that he wouldn`t get another 2nd car, he`d make do with the one he has. I gave him a couple of months, sure enough he now has another. An Alpha Romeo which has also been polished within an inch of it`s life! Son G called around to view the vehicle. I turned the corner into the garage to overhear
G "Naa, naa, you do`nt want to be doing that!"
D "You`re mother just wants to learn to drive again and use this car"
Y "No, you`re mother doesn`t want to do that at all!"
G "Good, because I know for a fact that you`d prang it up"
D "She used to be a good driver, but she lost her confidence"
G "She`d be a bloody liability on the road"
We decided to have a trip out to Beamish, well D did, and I found out that there was a car rally event on. However when we arrived there were only about nine cars, 7 Viva`s and 2 Victor`s. I was over the moon as we wouldn`t be trawling round and around, stopping and talking to various blokes about fan belts etc. I said "Get in" and D replied "You`re all heart!" I sat at the picnic table while D told the lass at the desk that they were an HA car, Ha van, HB Viva, Hc Viva, FD Victor and 2 Viva Gt`s. She said that she had always wanted to know what they were. She allowed him to lift the bonnets and nose around. I went for a sugar cornet with a flake in! The merry go round was spinning away to I`d Like to Teach the World to sing and people were milling around with their camera`s snapping the trams and people dressed up in period clothing.
We had been there for about an hour and a half when my mobile rang
G "Why isn`t dad answering his mobile, I have an emergency here!"
Y "I`ll put him on, his phone isn`t getting a signal"
D (Listens to the tirade of why are we not at home, where have we been etc) "I told you not to touch that pipe....I said that it wasn`t defunct....it`s your own f.....yes, it is. Well didn`t you turn off the stopcock?"
So we were on our way home, minus the stop off at a pub for dinner. D had to go to Wickes for supplies, repaired the pipe which G didn`t actually stump up for afterwards.
Brother D and sister in law A came round to ours last night. Brother had been baking a fab chilli game pie and he brought some samples. We had a few drinks and it was revealed that son G has been on Facbook telling the tale of the flood in his house. (I have been denied a friend request from said son, his brother doesn`t mind, being the more mature sibling)
Quote G " The day you wish you'd never started. Yip house flooded due to my own stupidity, that pipes defo ok to cut and remove......doh, by the rivers of Babylon. In my defence the tit who originally installed them did it wrong. Never my own fault, never.....
"bank of young" had to come round and fix it. how dare he go out on a sunday and not answer his phone, off with his head.
But...this is not the only revelation from his site!!!
"that moment in a bar in town when u look across the room and c a woman....its my mam 100% i keep lookun, its defo her, then she starts snoggin a random, cnt believe it, i storm over lookin staring and get filthy looks from a couple, its not my mam but her double, dohhhh feel like even more of a tit than normal"
As I said, kids, who`d have em? They are enemies of the state..exterminate..exterminate!!