Fabulous Fashion

Aren`t these lads great, there they were, standing outside Curry`s on Saturday. This will definitely be a one for the archive, pity I didn`t get their names, but I could hardly miss them if they were in town again.

Further down the street outside the police station, a protest against Israel`s bombing of Gaza, a crowd had gathered across the road and the police were moving onlookers who looked as if they were about to start trouble.Many people stopped to sign the against petition, myself included. A harrowing photo appeared today in the Telegraph, showing a child`s hand and cuff of a red jumper among clumps of rubble. It reminded me of the girl in the red coat on the Schindler`s List film.

We should think ourselves fortunate in this country to be able to think about what we will be wearing today, whether to dress up warmly or fashionably, to be able to go choosing new clothes while others are hiding for weeks without food, only venturing out because of a paltry one week ceasfire, and after that, what then? But half of me thinks that we should celebrate everything we have for now as it may be our turn next. But most of us are guilty of getting on with our own interests and lives without much thought to what is going on in the rest of the world. Brought to mind a poem I read at school about the menace of war by W.H. Auden, "O What is That Sound." Describes how people naively wait until it`s at the door before we do anything about it. It`s sobering to think that just before the second world war, that there were young lads,going about their own business, just like the two pictured, that were soon to be drafted into the army, hope that it never happens, hope that Obama can make a difference.

With Bells on

Lizzie Rowe (drawing) Fantastic local artist.



One subject that has really got up my nose this week is the treatment of the Gurkhas by this country`s ministry of defence (I won`t use capital letters for them) How long does it take a country to recognise the bravery of these men, when they are sat in wheelchairs, wearing their medals, which have cost the mod precious little in recognition, a few scabby bits of metal. Why has it taken so long to allow these men to settle here and draw their pensions like every other supporter of this country who have worked all their decent lives. The problem being, they complain, is that it will cost the tax payer too much. The government already squanders our money on their pissy ideas, handouts to those who, to coin an old phrase "Will not work nor want". Anyone who draws dole should put in time on community service, then there WOULD be enough money to honour the Gurkhas.

Went to the pub with I and M, an old pal of ours came over for a chat and told us of his bad back and pain all down one leg. M pointed to his wife Irene and said

"I`ve got a pain in the arse and she`s sitting there."

And while on the subject of insults, friend D and I called in to Laboca, I was showing some old photos, one of me wearing a horizontal striped dress when I was about 11. Cafe owner B sneered

"You couldn`t wear stripes like that now dear!"

Cheeky twat, fortunate for him that he was behind the counter when he said it.

As I hadn`t seen D since before Xmas, we exchanged our presents over a cheese toastie. She opened mine to her, a pair of earrings, then she put her present to me on the chair, it promptly fell to the tiled floor. When opened, it had been a lovely Laura Ashley cream ornate photo frame. Curiously, the glass was intact, but the frame was smashed in all four corners. Should glue back together.

BH was also at the cafe, he had us in stitches as he described the presents that he received from his brother and sister in law. A willie warmer with bells on,and matching socks, a gel mask for hangovers (The ones you put in the freezer),a set of blow up boobs as a head rest for when he`s in the bath and a cocktail shaker. I said

"You`ll look a bonny bugger dressed in all those!"

BH "I`ll take the bells off the thong, but I`ll leave them on the socks."

B "Fancy buying him a cock warmer for a present, and he`ll need an extra hand for the cocktail shaker. It gives new meaning to putting Santa in the sack."

BH said that the willie warmer also had a little button, when he pressed, it said "Ee aw, ee aw."

Y "You`ll have to make sure that you don`t get too close to people in the bus queue."

D told us of her visit to her mother, who is in her 90`s

"She had a face like a melted welly, she was complaining about funerals"

D`s Mam "I don`t want any fuss when I die, I hate these poems in the Chronicle, cashing in on people`s grief."

D`s husband M "Right then we`ll just put, She`s Dead."

D`s Mam "And, I don`t want a wake, it`s just an excuse for people to come for free food and drink!"

M " Right then, we`ll put "She`s dead, no spread."

Went home on the bus, a woman sat on the pull up seat wearing a long parka and an ipod turned up full blast so that everyone could hear Agadoo playing, her black ankle socks with pink hearts showed above her riding boots. A woman in front sporting hoop earrings the size of bracelets. They hadn`t seen Style on Trial on BBC4, what a great show, footage of the 60`s, Twiggy, Mary Quant etc. BH could show them all a thing or two

The Goose is Getting Fat

Well goodbye to all that, it`s great having the time off with friends and family, but we hold a purely secular Xmas and sometimes I wonder who we are doing all of this for. After the half a tree fiasco, why do I religiously put the tree up every year, a pal has the wall variety that simply open up, another has a flat golden disc in a box, which pulls up into a cone shape. But then again another friend buys new red gold and green satin ribbon every year and covers the fireplace with baubles,cones and the like. Would I feel bah humbug if I didn`t participate. It would be alot cheaper...son asking "Have you thought what your getting me for Xmas...only I`d like the money if you haven`t already bought it?"

The cards that arrive full of bloody tinsels and snowflakes, forgive me if I haven`t quite cracked the goodwill among men concept. Brazil nuts, candied peel, indegestion tablets. It`s one big gorging fest.

Loved our visit to P and B`s home, they don`t get into the decorations hype, but give them time and I bet next year there`ll be a few sparklies here and there. B spoiled us with food from her fabulous new recipes, that`s another thing, I write them down, but I`m not very imaginative in the cooking stakes and husband D is usually the first one to try to cook them himself.

New Year was spent at my brother and sister in law`s house, a great party with lots of daftness, fireworks, good food and drink. Got home around 2.30. Next day up and raring to go on the usual clearout, be ruthless is my resolution, but half the crap goes back where it came from. But, I did manage to set up 3 carrier bags of tat. one for pal I to take to the kids groups she runs, another for a fellow crafts person to add to her groaning resources and one for work, back on Thursday.

Bit into a large toffee and pulled out a crown, I recall 6 years ago when the dentist advised me that he was going to chisle the dead tooth and glue the crown over the top. When I looked into my mouth to check the damage, there was a little square peg totally coal black. I look like one of the old hags on at medieval, sawdust strewn floor banquet, "Ha har harg" Now I can go out into the street and instead of wishing everyone a Happy New Year, I can shout "Unclean, unclean...bring out yer dead."

Is this yet another sign of decrepitude, of falling to bits? Well, might as well throw the old getting fat concept into the ring, where`s the rest of that Lemon Drizzle cake and the indigestion tablets?