Monday, 7 January 2008

New Year Resolutions


D has vowed to lose weight and walk the dog more often. G arrives back from the Metro Centre with a Boots De-Tox 5 day plan purchase. He takes the first phial with water and a tablet. Then pours himself a glass of wine???? D laughs "I can`t believe him, did you see what he just did?" Then D saunters into the kitchen and returns with a glass of wine, a chunk of chocolate log and announces that he will take the dog out tomorrow as the weather is crap.

The dog needs his front claws clipped, I offer to arrange an appointment with the vet. D & G inform me that they will do this themselves. I buy a size 10 muzzle from Jolleys for £9.99. The assistant demonstrates its use, it has a very secure fastening at the back, ideal for an English Bull Terrier.

Trusting them both, Bullseye allows them to put the muzzle on him, then he notices D coming towards him with a pair of BT wire cutters. He immediately goes spare, alternately batting them with his front legs and head butting. I make an appointment for the next day with the vet.

The three of them come back from the vets, Bullseye looking fine, the other two look as if they have been through the sausage machine. By their accounts, D held the dog in a head lock, G held the legs. Apparently, as soon as they turned the corner of the Vet`s street in the car, the dog lay on his back,all fours in the air howling. Who can blame him, it`s not as if he hasn`t been down this road before.....de-bollocked, teeth out and various lumps removed. Bullseye had encouraged every dog in the building to set up a howling session, and a little Yorkshire terrier had tried to bite the nose of an Irish Wolfhound.

As a confessed hoarder, my resolution is to have a mass clear out, I start with the magazine rack, there is something quite liberating about ripping paper and putting it into a bag, how sad is that? The shoe situation is dire, I just can`t bring myself to part with pairs that I know I`ll never wear, but I like the look of them.
Clothes are next on the list, but if the charity bag lies there long enough, you can be sure that I`ll retrieve half of it. Ah well, I wonder if there`s any of that chocolate log left.

1 comment:

Paul said...

This is really good stuff. Realloy funny. Keep it up. Lots of love from your youngest and dearest son Paul :)