All of our neighbours are friendly and would do anything for anyone...except one couple, E & G, who have alienated themselves on many occasions with ourselves and others on the block. E likes to sit on the front lawn wearing her yellow flowered print dress which she arranges in a complete circle around herself. She talks on her mobile phone, she enjoys flicking her hair back as she laughs loudly (like an extra from Gone with the Wind) She thinks that she is the most beautiful thing on the planet.
Husband G likes to dye his hair and excercises, he also likes the rest of us to know that he does, by keeping his home gym in the garage and leaving the up and over door open for everyone to see him and his manliness. He likes to sing songs loudly e.g. (Don`t it make your brown eyes blue), while in the kitchen. G also likes neighbours to hear what he has to say on his mobile phone, so he conducts his "high powered" insurance man speak in the garden whenever possible.
They now own a very grand, hollywood style rabbit hutch. They are in their fifties and have no children at home.
Three weeks ago they had dark bumpy style paving stones placed, by contractors, to cover all of their back garden. The workmen were called back after a week of torrential rain. One might assume the work to be faulty, paving stones lifting etc, but no.... E & G have decided that the wrong colour stones have been put down. Methinks that it would take a little less that three weeks to discover this. There are light pink and sandstone arrangements in place now, with some buckets, bags of sand, spades and bollards which have been stacked up against their back door. E was remonstating with the workmen "I am not a happy bunny, and my rabbit has been stressed!"....."If I fall on this path I could sue your boss!!!" I couldn`t help thinking that paving stones are not exactly rabbit friendly, so it`s debateable which will stress the creature more.
E was hosting a girly party at home and could be heard redirecting various women to "Just go around the front." When one of the women stepped into the garden from the kitchen, E could be heard encouraging the rabbit in a squeaky voice "Come on then, say Hello to C" ........C obliges...
"Oooooh aren`t you a lovely colour?"
Well I do declare...........What was I saying about Gone with the Wind?