Showing posts with label Sandi Toksvig. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sandi Toksvig. Show all posts

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Willy shaped Fish and Chips






















We both had a pig of a day on Friday and decided that the diet would go out of the window, we NEEDED fish and chips. To make ourselves feel better, we would have half each. When I opened the box, there staring back at me was this willy shaped fish, had the staff in the shop played a joke on us or did a piece of fish drop off in the hot fat, we`ll never know. But, it gave us a good laugh. Later in the evening I suddenly thought that I could have staged it so that D opened the box on video and I could have sent it to Harry Hill, ah well £250 smackeroonies down the drain, we`d already eaten it. I must admit that when it came to cutting it in half, I did feel a bit like that Bobbit woman, but I was hungry so tried not to think about it. D ate the balls and I ate the willy, metaphorically of course.

Sandi Toksvig gave a brilliant talk at the university she spoke about how women and girls were portrayed in a negative wimpering way in stories such as Cinderella and Rapunzel, waiting around for men to rescue them and give them a life. She`s definitely worth seeing.

Next up was my spot at Northern Stage as a guest with Monkfish Productions, excellent acts and bands, had a great time. But, did rattle through my sections and didn`t give people a chance to finish applauding, so they missed some of the first lines as I moved on too quickly, but it`s logged for next time I`m anywhere else.

The old school reunion was great, met up again with lots of old pals and I have telephone numbers of those willing to give interviews and allow me to scan their photos for Benwell Remembered. There was a buffet and a raffle, someone had a loud haler to announce the winners, but everyone was so busy gassing that we didn`t hear, also me and D missed the buffet, nowt left by the time we got around to picking something up, I did get a mini sausage roll, but at least it looked like a sausage roll!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

The Underpants Cafe`

Going in to Laboca, meeting a couple of folks in there. Last week when friend D was approaching, B looked out of the window

"Here comes The Bitchy Butty Queen, the Crimplene Goddess, Butty Bouquet." She knew that he was taking the Mick by the expression on his face
D "And I` wearing my ocelot just for you" (Tugs on her scarf)
B "I`ve just bought a scary pussy plant, you know one of those smelly yellow bushes, oh by the way, D, never put water on nylon, you`ll get electric shocks."
"Did you see that programme with Sandi Toksvig and Goldie Hawn."
B "Yes, she looked like a Californian Raisin with a bit of lippy on."
D. "They gave much more air space to Goldie Hawn, I`d rather have listened to Sandi."
Y " We`ve all got tickets to see Ms Toksvig next week at Newcastle University."
D "Did I tell you about the leak in my back passage?"
B "OHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
D "We had a burst pipe and the cat was skidding all over the floor, the water dripped through the light fitting, we were plodging through the carpet, husband M had an idea, he had to take his trousers off as they got wet, so he said
M" I`m thinking of starting a new cafe, it`ll be called The Underpants Cafe`, instead of the doorman asking "Can I take your coat?" he`ll say "Can I take your trousers? Then all the men will be comfortable"
Y "I`m having visions here of the Auf Weidershen episode where OZ is trouserless, not a pretty thought, still if all the men did this in a cafe, us women would be spared the sight at home, could catch on."

Then a fella walked in, B addressed him
B "Hi Womble, what`s that whiff I got as you passed just then?"
W "I`m wearing Hi Karate."

Men, they`re in a league of their own!!!!!